4th June 2003

*Writing in after 2 months (7th Aug), Hard to write now and it’s also her B’day today and she is not here…. :(
“A little difference between Promises and Memories:
PROMISES: We Break them….. & MEMORIES: They Break us….”
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Today after PET paper we decided to go to GT to meet Sandeep/Ajay sir (co-owners) to discuss about what should we do, she was willing to know what are probable options (branches) for her, and I was looking forward for some guidance about next year preparation, course info, fees and all that general things. We decided first to go to Monica Galaxy to have some Ice Cream. We spend almost an hour there talking about results, things that we have to ask and a lot many other things.
From there we took walk to Palasia to take a tempo to GT. While we were crossing the road, I heard someone calling me from backside. I just stopped and turned back and found that Parivesh (one of my school friends) was calling me. She was walking a couple of steps ahead of me while crossing the road whereas I stopped to replied to talk to him. I just told her to stop, she got distracted and at the same moment a speeding minibus perhaps wanted to cross signal before it turns red came and
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and rammed her.

The impact was so strong that after vigorously shacking for a couple of seconds she died on the spot, I was so stunned that I stood still for a few minutes as I watched something unbelievable happening in front of my eyes. The last thing I remember from that place was that police and hospital staff were loading her body in the ambulance. Afterwards I don’t know how long I stood there dumbfounded and how I reached home, perhaps Parivesh dropped me at home.
I don’t know if it was result of shock or something else but from evening/night only I had fever, temperature didn't came down for next few days. Doctor was confused as blood testing reports were not able to clarify whether it was Typhoid or Malaria. They were showing partial symptoms for both. Finally after about a month of medication fever came down and now after recovering fully here I wrote about her last day…

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Goshhhhh.........
I don’t know if it really was love or not but I think perhaps it was, although we never confessed about our love to each other. But I think she too had feelings for me, else why would she missed her classes during those crucial times of career.

Neha, Missing you BADLY :(
I am really very very sorry for calling you that day…………. :(

2nd June 2003

Results are out… :(
Pretty bad ehhhh… So many wrong answers did the trick. I didn’t even scored the 75% of what I have had expected. Resulting not cleared the exam. My Rank was in 7000’s pretty bad..... yeah

Whereas Neha, She’z got rank in 3000’s. Way below her expectations… she is so depressed and even in bad mood. Now for next 2 days we are having MP PET lined up. Now we’ve decided to visit GT on Monday and talk to sir’s and discuss about what should our next step should be…. As I haven’t cleared the JEE and she doesn’t expect some good branch with this rank.
So
Do we try our luck another time, or do we go with MP PET or AIEEE result as both exams went on good and we are now expecting good result in them.....

20th April 2003

Finally the day came and passed leaving behind mixed feeling about the paper, not sure how result will be, as I feel that I am on the border. After paper now I have started feeling so bad that had I studied seriously for 12th board I could have done better as there were some direct questions from the book which are based on some straight forward formula.

This was my case whereas Neha, on phone she seemed quite confident about her attempts. Keys are not available yet on net, probably by tomorrow most of the coaching classes will publish keys on their site so the situation will become much clearer by then.
Let’s hope for the best.

19th April 2003

Finally the day is here. Besides me almost 2L people will be giving the exams tomorrow.

22nd Feb 2003

Things are going on well. In last 10 months after she had joined GT we had now almost stopped skipping classes for our so called dates, although generally on alternate Sundays we use to have ‘study’ date under the excuse of Weekly Tests. We actually started coming to GT and sit in study rooms and discuss millions of other things apart from studies. It’s not like that we never studied. We studied but for only about 10-20% of total time of our stay there. With exams less than a couple of months away a lot of people come to solve old papers under strict examination conditions and crosscheck to assess our performance. After giving test in such manner we normally discuss the paper to have better understanding.

As exams are coming nearer with more and more practice we started gaining confidence but then pressure is also mounting up. So let’s hope that like these tests our performance will also be good.

7th August 2002

Happy B’day Honey.

It’s Neha’s B’day today. Today I have decided to give her a surprise. Thanks to cell phones, I have had already wished her at midnight. When we met in the tempo I gave her b’day present, a set of 5 beautiful key chains. As I already knew that she loves key chains and had a good collection of key chains. After spending a good amount of time at different shops during last week I finally ended up buying 5 different key chains from 5 different shops. The most special one was the custom made key chain with ‘Neha’ engraved on the Heart Shaped wooden block.

I just told her that today only I want treat and we are going to skip first Boring Inorganic Chemistry class. So we reached at our usual dating place “Monica Galaxy”. As of our frequent visits even people working there now know us. As it was hot and sunny day, we decided to first sit for a few minutes and then we would go and take Ice Cream. As pre-planned with the manager, he sent a small heart shaped Ice-cream Cake on our seat with Neha written by crushed chocolate on it. As waiter comes from her back side, she didn’t even have had a clue until n unless the Cake comes to the table.

She was so surprised that for a few seconds she was gone dumbfounded, only her wet eyes were speaking with tears, she hugged me and then cut the cake. Afterward we sat there and talked for a couple of hours and when we stand to leave, she again started crying. Man… girls are so emotional. I comforted her it took another half hour. Now finally just before we left the Galaxy for the first time she suddenly gave me a peck on the cheek. It was mine time to be surprised. We just blushed and leave the parlor. Rather than going to class (of 3 we have already missed 2 lectures) we decided to go back to our homes.

Wow, What a wonderful day…

1st May 2002

Finally the day was here, with that kind of result I couldn’t be happy, and neither did I pretend so while meeting her. When she met me at NN she quickly identified that my mood was off. Just after some formal Hi… Hello… I asked her what the surprise was. She said, “Not now, let’s skip our first class and go to Monica Galaxy, afterall my treat is also due.” I was also not in mood to go to coaching so we hired an Auto to go to IceCream parlor .Strangely, on our way to Galaxy none of us spoke, it was a silent trip, quite unusual when we are together.

There at Monica Galaxy we took Ice Cream and sat to discuss everything that was going on in my mind since yesterday after I got my result. The result was a big surprise as I didn’t expect that bad performance.

Talking to her cheered up my mood and I had decided to not to quit coaching just for 12th class afterall my friends and family have huge expectations from me and this decision will let everyone down who is expecting something big from me.
We haven’t realized how 3 hours had passed in discussion about my result and decision only. After this discussion I was quite cheerful and in good mood. Then she just asked me that was I not interested in her surprise. I was shocked as I had completely forgotten that she had some surprise for me. I asked her what it is, and in order to know that surprise she persuaded me to buy another (3rd) round of Ice-cream for us.

She was in such a cheerful mood that even my sorrowful stories didn’t hamper her cheery mood. God Damn I love her… Her presence only can convert any dull environment to a cheerful one. Neways coming back to topic, she told me that she had left Rankers’ Point and then a pause. A shock for me… as this meant that we wouldn’t have any more common time to sit and talk. She stared at me for a few long seconds and then came a splash of laughter and I was even more surprised what had happened. What’s wrong with her? And then she completed the sentence that she had left Rankers’ Point for Gupta Tutorials. Her batch timings are same as mine because of school timings.

30th April 2002

Finally the week is over, it’s really hard to wait for something that you are eagerly looking forward to. Finally tomorrow is that the day when I will meet her again and now unable to come up to conclusion as what could be the surprise…

Today also was the day of my class 11th result... God Damn I’ve screwed up badly… barely managed to clear it with a Grace in Physics. My class teacher (Physics) was so much surprised with the result as at the start of term I usually asked her questions that sometimes she didn’t have had any answers and she was quite impressed (or irritated/frustrated, I dunno) that later during the whole year whenever she taught some important topic she never forgot to ask me “Pranjal koi doubt to nahi hai na, sab samajh aa gaya???”. And at the end of year there was my pathetic result.

Damn Confused, on one side I was happy that I am gonna meet her after the break of almost one and a half month, but on other side this result made me think again whether I took wrong decision to go for JEE. With this result JEE is a distant dream for me, I was thinking that I have to focus more on 12th board exams rather than on IIT JEE and to quit the coaching as on every class day I almost lost 1.5 hrs in travelling, although only good aspect of this traveling was 15-20 mins one sided journey alongside her.

22nd April 2002

Its my B’day again, and this diary’s first b’day. During last 1 year I found out that this is really a good companion to share some of my secrets specially the friendship with Neha about which no one knows (except a few tempo wallas :P hehehe).

Today my parents gifted me my first cell phone a sleek and sexy Samsung C210, with the special number with my DOB as last 6 digits 98**220485. In afternoon I got some free time and made first call from my cell. A call to 9**9595643, the number belonging to Neha, just to inform her about my b’day gift. She asked me for a double party and we decided that we will go on 1st May, when I will be going to my classes after exam break (her classes were already started). How and when we will decide later… She also told me that she had a big surprise for me.

And now m just waiting for 1st May..............

25th March 2002

Don’t know why but feeling somewhat lonely, just missing her :( . Tried calling her on cell but it was switched off :( . Perhaps she was in exam hall…

15th March 2002

Break for a month and a half so as to prepare for school exams, or I would say relief from tiring coaching trips for one and a half month under the excuse of School Exams. I don’t have many hopes with exams but let’s see how they turn out.

21st Feb 2002

After going together for almost 1.5 months, for the first time Neha wasn’t with me today on our way to coaching. :(
Actually I got late as I had to go out with my mum to buy some stuff for home. When I reached NN I was sure that she must have left as I was late by almost 15 mins, although I waited for another 2-3 mins in hope that she was late too but she didn’t turned out. Finally I just managed to reach GT on time after hiring the auto.

12th Jan 2002

After bumping into each other for 6-7 times during last 20 days we realize that we gel up in very good manner. With some mutual understanding we decided that if we didn’t met in our first tempo then we will meet at NN stop, first one to reach there had to wait for 5 mins for other. Afterall no one wants to go alone and we can also easily pass that boring journey time, although its just about 15 mins but its better to have a company then go alone. :-)

22th Dec 2001

After a week today I again bumped into her at NN stop. She was sitting in tempo waiting to get it filled and luckily I was the last person to get into tempo waiting to get filled and move. As some people sitting between us we just exchanged smiles and a silent hi. :)

15th Dec 2001

Whoa, What a coincidence…

Last Saturday (8th) when I was sitting in tempo (public conveyance vehicles in Indore) on my way to GT, I was quite sad and haven’t realized who was sitting there. During my journey I have to change it at one stop (Nagar Nigam, NN). At that stop a gal came to me and said Hi. At first I was shocked “ki achanak ye kaun tapak padi” then I realized that shez the same gal (Neha) whom I met in the train. There she told me that she was sitting in same tempo in which I was. She asked me where I was lost that I haven’t noticed that she was sitting there. I somehow directed her question to other things and found that she was also going to her coaching (RP) which is on the way to my coaching so we boarded to same tempo.

And now today again when I was going GT I found her sitting in front of me in the tempo, it was time for me to say Hi!! We had a casual talk about the school and things going on in respective coaching’s.

16rd Nov, 2001: A couple of days after diwali

This is something ridiculous. Just like schools coachings should also give atleast 5 days off for Diwali, so that people like me who are going out of town should relax. No, but these coaching people gave off only for 3 days, so considering our alternate day classes only one day off. And thus I have to come back or rather I would say that I am send back so that I don’t miss my classes and even my bad luck that they will come after a couple of days. Let’s now face the reality.

Neways, today in train on my way back to Indore, I got bored and opened my GT worksheet to solve. I found a gal boarded form Ujjain, came and sat in front of me. She was cool, casual and friendly gal, Neha although not very beautiful, but her eyes, her eyes were really stunning, very beautiful eyes. As I was solving some questions from my GT sheet and she saw it and after some time our conversation started. There I found out that she too was preparing for JEE from one of the institutes (Ranker's Point, RP) in Indore only. It was quite a pleasant chit chat about study environment and all that at our respective classes for next about 1 hr when we reached Indore.

15th July 2001

Have I made a mistake taking Maths - Science as subject??

Or it’s just some disturbance in changing school??

Well taking admission in Gupta Tutorials (GT) for IIT JEE prep, and changing day school to morning school is too much….

GOD!!!!!!! I hate getting up early in morning for this school. Now after doing all sudden changes in my life I am clueless in my studies about what they are teaching at school as well as at coaching…. I haven’t really thought that I would ever hate Mathematics which I loved a lot till a few days ago.

22nd Apr 2001

Hiii,

This is Pranjal.

And Happy B’day to me.

This, a really beautiful diary is among many gifts that I have had received today. This is gifted to me by one of my best friends. He use to write diary and told me to start writing. Here I am obeying him starting the diary on my birthday only.

The b’day went really well with some close friends and family. Today we went to Chowkhi Dhani for lunch with close friends and family followed by a movie at night.

That’s how my B’day was. The day is now over and m now waiting for my 10th class result. Let’s hope for the best.

Neways the diary has been started lets c where it goes……